Chances

I always give everyone a chance. They all deserve a chance. Even if they have wronged someone I know, they have not wronged me. I give them a chance.

I give second chances to everyone as well. Sometimes when I shouldn’t. But people make mistakes and they deserve second chances, ‘It was mistake, I trust you.’ I have taken many second chances and I find it only fair I give them too.

And I think that’s okay, the chances and second chances I give people. After that I get a little soft.

I give third chances quite frequently. When I’m in denial that I’ve been hurt, ‘You wouldn’t do that to me.’ And when I’m trying to portray a perfect image, ‘Oh, no we’re fine, we’re still friends.’

I’ve found that I’ve also given fourth chances occasionally. When I’m hurting and I’m not sure I can take any more, ‘My heart may not survive if I lose you now.’ Or when I can’t bear to lose myself on top of everything, ‘I’m not really sure who I am without you.’

And now I’m conflicted. Would I be a push over to offer a fifth chance? Will it just turn into ‘I’m sticking around because I feel obligated to’? But all the reasons for giving previous chances still stand.

I’ve been praying about this, and I have a lot to say next time I see you.

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